Sunday, October 5, 2014

Santa

Dear Santa,
Wassup man, I don’t ever write a letter but I thought maybe this year I should. I live in the most dangerous city in Illinois and I am getting tired of people shooting up in my neighborhood. These people don’t know who they messin with. You feel me? I want a Remington so I can shoot anybody that wanna act bad. I know that puts me on the naughty list but you know I’m just tryna protect the kids. I’m like a hero. Don’t let my dreams go to waste
Another thing I would like is an iphone six. I always see these dirty kids walking around with one and I get jealous. I’m an old lady but I need to stay in trend with these children. I would love to take some bomb ass selfies. I can’t do that with this piece of crap flip phone my daughter bought me.
You know what I love and would die if you gave it to me on Christmas? I would love a brand new house out of this city. I know I am asking for the most but come on Santa that would be wonderful. I don’t want to live in this hood anymore. I need a better living lifestyle and I know you can help me. You make miracles happen. If I stay here any longer I will get murdered. This is the city where murders happen on a regular. Do you seriously want a poor old granny like me to die? It is a new city or I turn into a murderer as well. It is all up to you. Do you want to see the good in me or the bad? I prefer to show you the good but I can’t do this on my own.
I know you got me Santa. I can’t wait till the 25th to see if you really came through.

-Love,

        Grandma from da hood

P.S I got you with the cookies.

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