Memories

I was spending my nights on the beach alone every night. This was where Johnny and I used to come when he was still alive. No matter how hard I tried to forget about him, I just couldn’t let the memories go. This was the only place that brought me good memories. Remembering the good time we always had was the best feeling in the world because I wouldn’t be able to have them back.

Not long ago Johnny was captured in Iran while trying to save some civilians from the Taliban. He and four other soldiers were held hostage for a couple weeks until they were brutally murdered. It is the worst feeling in the world knowing your fiancé was murdered a couple weeks before he was supposed to come home for the wedding. It killed me inside whenever the soldiers were in my front porch holding an American flag. You always see it in movies but you never imagine it happening to you. It was the most devastating day of my life. I lost my best friend, soul mate and lover. The sad thing is I never got the chance to tell him how much he really meant to me.

Now I am standing here crying wishing he could come back. I needed to see him one last time.  Why did this have to happen to me? I was so happy when he was in my life, now I am left with nothing.

Standing here at this moment made me realize nothing would ever be the same. The beach was where Johnny proposed and promised he would be with me forever. Coming down here used to fill me with joy now it is just brings me pain and misery. Maybe I shouldn’t be coming down here anymore. It wasn’t doing me any good, I needed to forget everything.

I take my last glance at the sunset and ocean. I wouldn’t be coming back to this place anymore. I will always remember this was where my happiness started and where my happiness ended.